Fart
I've forgotten what it is like to be around grade 8 boys. It's been so long since I have. I forgot one of the biggest deals in an eighth grader's world is farting. I've taught grade 8s now for a week and a day and I've had two farting mishaps.
The first one was while I was talking. A girl started screaming bloody murder in the middle of my sentence. I looked at her worried. "Ahhhh! Rennel just farted!!!" This caused all the kids within a two desk radius to clear away from Rennel. I just looked at the fart screamer, raised my eyebrow and kept going.
The second mishap happened today. We were all standing at the door waiting for the bell to ring. One girl wanted something at my desk which is on the other side of the classroom from the door. When I returned to the door, half the students had their shirts pulled over their nose. I looked at them and Rennel creaped out of his shirt to inform me that William farted. I couldn't smell anything. It's funny, none of the kids scattered away from William though. I guess it's because the alternative was being away from the door and god forbid the students not be out of the classroom by the time the bell stops ringing.
Not that adult don't have to deal with farting. But we have different issues. We don't fart in front of each other for attention or amusement. Well, usually we don't (but we all enjoy a good fart joke every once in a while).
I find the biggest fart dilemma in an adult's life is the farting in front of the girlfriend/boyfriend issue. No one ever wants to be the first to fart in front of their current flame. My rule is that I never do until he's farted at least three times in front of me when we both know he's done it. It's hard to not fart in front of a guy you're sleeping with for a while. I find I have to find ways to leave the room, or else hold it in until it implodes in my stomach. I only farted once in front of Brilliant, by the way. But I'm pretty sure he was asleep. I can't say the same for him to me though ;)
The first one was while I was talking. A girl started screaming bloody murder in the middle of my sentence. I looked at her worried. "Ahhhh! Rennel just farted!!!" This caused all the kids within a two desk radius to clear away from Rennel. I just looked at the fart screamer, raised my eyebrow and kept going.
The second mishap happened today. We were all standing at the door waiting for the bell to ring. One girl wanted something at my desk which is on the other side of the classroom from the door. When I returned to the door, half the students had their shirts pulled over their nose. I looked at them and Rennel creaped out of his shirt to inform me that William farted. I couldn't smell anything. It's funny, none of the kids scattered away from William though. I guess it's because the alternative was being away from the door and god forbid the students not be out of the classroom by the time the bell stops ringing.
Not that adult don't have to deal with farting. But we have different issues. We don't fart in front of each other for attention or amusement. Well, usually we don't (but we all enjoy a good fart joke every once in a while).
I find the biggest fart dilemma in an adult's life is the farting in front of the girlfriend/boyfriend issue. No one ever wants to be the first to fart in front of their current flame. My rule is that I never do until he's farted at least three times in front of me when we both know he's done it. It's hard to not fart in front of a guy you're sleeping with for a while. I find I have to find ways to leave the room, or else hold it in until it implodes in my stomach. I only farted once in front of Brilliant, by the way. But I'm pretty sure he was asleep. I can't say the same for him to me though ;)
posted by Small Town Teacher @ 5:05 PM
1 Comments:
At October 25, 2006 3:54 PM,
Anonymous said…
I had a grade 10 math teacher, named Mr. Bolton, and he was this short, muscular guy with this rashy face. Like his face had a rash, and it was also covered in huge dandruff flakes. Anyways, he was sitting on this girls desk in an awkward way, like with his legs crossed and hanging over the end of the desk, and he farted on her desk. The noise kind of reverberated, and it was super loud. That would be super-embarassing.
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