Why I Hate Fish
I hate fish. Why, you may ask? You may say, "It's so yummy" or "It's so good for you" or "You're so lucky to live in a place where you can get it fresh". If you are saying any of these to yourself, YOU SUCK!
Fish is not yummy. In fact, it tastes like, well, fish. And it smells like fish. And we all know when we say something smells like fish, it smells gross.
Ok, ok. Fresh fish isn't that "fishy". I can actually handle the taste now that I have a more "sophisticated" pallet. But the bones!!! I hate the bones. They ruin the whole fish experience for me. Have you ever swallowed a fish bone and it went down your esophogus the wrong way? It fucking hurts, let me tell you. I haven't done it recently and I'll tell you why. Because I chew any fish that enters my mouth to pulp so I don't swallow a bone. And if I find a bone in my mouth, I IMMEDIATELY shove my fingers in there to fetch it out. I don't care if I'm in a fine dinning restaurant (though I've never ordered fish in one), I'll display my bad manners to get that fucking bone out.
And fish is not good for you. Ok ... it can be. But not the ways I like it. I like it either deep fried or smothered in hollandaise sauce. I especially like McCormick's International Hollandaise sauce (not exactly as shown)
Since I don't have my deep frier up here (it's in Dad's garage), I had to make due with the sauce. Of course, to prepare said sauce requires half a cup of butter. And to palette fish, about a quarter of the sauce is needed per fist-size piece. That is a lot of butter.
Technically, I haven't learned to use my deep-frier (thank god or I'd be fat), so I don't think I want to go that root.
I've asked my peeps for fish recipes when I call home and they have given me some good ideas. Brilliant Andrew said I should pan sear it and then cut slits in it and fill the slits with mayonaise. Ewww, gross! Warm mayonaise! That has food poising written all over it! Keya gave me a tasty marinade ... that requires basalmic vinegar ... too bad they don't sell that here in the general store. Pam is sending me a recipe that requires so Rye. I hope the bar sells that!
So fish is not good! If the bones don't tear my throat apart, the preparation methods will surly give me a heart attack
Fish is not yummy. In fact, it tastes like, well, fish. And it smells like fish. And we all know when we say something smells like fish, it smells gross.
Ok, ok. Fresh fish isn't that "fishy". I can actually handle the taste now that I have a more "sophisticated" pallet. But the bones!!! I hate the bones. They ruin the whole fish experience for me. Have you ever swallowed a fish bone and it went down your esophogus the wrong way? It fucking hurts, let me tell you. I haven't done it recently and I'll tell you why. Because I chew any fish that enters my mouth to pulp so I don't swallow a bone. And if I find a bone in my mouth, I IMMEDIATELY shove my fingers in there to fetch it out. I don't care if I'm in a fine dinning restaurant (though I've never ordered fish in one), I'll display my bad manners to get that fucking bone out.
And fish is not good for you. Ok ... it can be. But not the ways I like it. I like it either deep fried or smothered in hollandaise sauce. I especially like McCormick's International Hollandaise sauce (not exactly as shown)
Since I don't have my deep frier up here (it's in Dad's garage), I had to make due with the sauce. Of course, to prepare said sauce requires half a cup of butter. And to palette fish, about a quarter of the sauce is needed per fist-size piece. That is a lot of butter.
Technically, I haven't learned to use my deep-frier (thank god or I'd be fat), so I don't think I want to go that root.
I've asked my peeps for fish recipes when I call home and they have given me some good ideas. Brilliant Andrew said I should pan sear it and then cut slits in it and fill the slits with mayonaise. Ewww, gross! Warm mayonaise! That has food poising written all over it! Keya gave me a tasty marinade ... that requires basalmic vinegar ... too bad they don't sell that here in the general store. Pam is sending me a recipe that requires so Rye. I hope the bar sells that!
So fish is not good! If the bones don't tear my throat apart, the preparation methods will surly give me a heart attack
posted by Small Town Teacher @ 7:32 PM
4 Comments:
At August 26, 2006 11:59 PM,
Anonymous said…
Wow. It's quite bizarre to read a journal-type internet thingamajig (a blog you say?) in reverse chronological order, but that is what I just accomplished. Then I went back to the beginning (end?) to write this little comment.
Sounds like quite the fish-eating adventure you've embarked on. I don't think I've ever cooked fish, other than the frozen kind you just stick in the oven and choke down with ketchup. Good luck with that. Do you want me to mail you some balsalmic vinegar?
by Hotruggedsoccergoalie (is that anonymous but identifiable enough?)
At August 28, 2006 11:49 AM,
Anonymous said…
Fussy, fussy, fussy, my one-and-only Picky Eater. Eating fish, especially fresh fish, everyday sounds like this bear's idea of paradise. Fucka buncha fish bones! Think of it as free calcium! I'm sure there's not enough tartar sauce at your local grocery to get you through this...
At August 28, 2006 3:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
Wow, so much drama about a little fish...
Glad to read that you're settling in. I remember when I moved to a new city and didn't really know anybody. It was fun and scary all at once. You feel like an explorer as you find your way around, but when you slow down, you get so damn homesick.
Can't wait to read more about your new adventures.
At August 28, 2006 7:49 PM,
Small Town Teacher said…
Hmm, do I want a hot rugged soccer goalie to send me things in the mail? Oh, the naughty things running through my head. Actually, one of my fellow newbies has some and we are going to cook some fish together ... but she actually likes it so maybe that attitude will wear off on me.
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