Sex sells these days

I keep swearing heavily in my blog these days, but I have another Holy Fuck moment!

I read three blogs religiously ... because they usually post everyday. One is phallusy's blog, one is Brad's blog, and the other is Matt Good's blog. And the last entry from all of them has referred to sex! I was most shocked by Matt's where he has a link to free porn ... but I digress because I actually checked it out for a while.

Should I follow in their footsteps ... the blogger I admire the most? Brad's blog was quite funny because it was all about how women lie about liking to give head. I can't comment on that without seriously incrimidating myself. And phallusy's has wall paper of someone going down on a woman.



I feel there is some reason that this is coincidence has come to my attention. Maybe I should make my blog more sexual?

Well, maybe I'll just comment on my view about porn. I'm not against it ... mostly. Every guy I've dated has looked at porn and I haven't had a problem with it. In fact, my bathroom reading is old Playboys and Penthouse magazines I've bought over the years ... only for their articles, mind you. But I have looked at the pictures. I only have a problem when guys think porn moves are what regular people do. One guy I know loves watching facials. I would never, ever let a guy come on my face. I would find it very degrading. Another guy I knew loves big bush ... on the porn pictures ... not so much on me. One guy tried a porn move on me that we've all seen a million times. It's looks great on the movie but does absolutly nothing for me but piss me off because he could be doing what actually works.

So, I sold out and I'm trying the sex sells thing. Sorry if I offended anyone.

P.S. I was looking for a semi-porn picture to post for my blog and found some nasty shit that I didn't look at. Stuff was named like "teen gets it in her tight ass" and "little cutie like to do it by the pool". The one that made me laugh and cringe at the same time was "movies of super old gradma who gets gangbanged" Thanks Matt Good!

I fucked up

Big time. It was yesterday. Well, it seems big but I'm sure it will blow over. Let's start from the good part.

"Did you tell Stan that I said he looked like a girl?" One of my colleagues asked me while I was innocently marking some math projects. My colleague was PISSED OFF. When someone is that mad, I say as little as possible.
"No" I said. Which is technically true but ...
"Well, he told me you did and that is so not cool. I told you that in confidence. I can't believe you would tell him that. It was very embarrassing. Of course, I couldn't lie to him because I don't lie to students. Thanks a lot." Oh shit, she's waiting for me to say something. Anything I say will not be good. Lying is out of the question because I hate to lie and I'm bad at it.
"I'm sorry he thinks that is what I said."
She left because she was teaching and because she was pissed.

Of course, I felt like a giant pile of shit. Here's what happened.



"Miss Small Town? When you first met me did you think I was a girl?" Stan asked me.

To be honest, when I first met Stan, it was during introductions and he said his name was Stan and that's a boy's name. So he's always been a boy in my head. But to his credit (or to the credit of the question) he does look a little feminine because he has shoulder length, beautiful hair, he bats his eye at everyone a lot and he wear makeup. He's also quite "Goth" so most Goths looks fairly androgynous.

I'm still on the DayQuil, so my mind is not all there. And it was Friday so I was a bit giddy. Plus, I was distracted because I was gathering some books for marking.

"No, Stan. I didn't."

"Do you think I look feminine?

"Stan, I think you are a handsome young man. But I was chatting with Ms. So-and-so and we both thought you had lovely hair that could be quite feminine." As I said this I was cursing to myself. Oh shit, I just implicated another teacher with hearsay to a student. This is like the number one no-no according to the teacher certification board. Oh shit!

"Ms. So-and-so thinks I look like a girl?" Stan accusingly asked. Double shit for me! She told me once that she did think he was a girl when she first saw him.

"No!" I practically scream.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"I can't believe she thought I was a girl. I'm going to tell her you said that." Stan told me. He didn't say it in a vicious way, because he's a super nice kid. Did I mention he is very chatty, and a little insecure about his looks.

I needed to cover my ass so I wouldn't get into trouble with the teacher. In hind sight, the best thing would have been to go to her right away to explain the situation. I didn't think of that at the time.

"Ms. So-and-so doesn't think you look like a girl. I was just kidding. Ok, it's time to work on that practice test now, Stan." Isn't that the lamest thing you ever heard? I can't believe I said something like that. By the end of the class, I had forgotten about the whole thing. Until I got my visit from the teacher.

About 20 minutes later, Stan came to my door.

"I told Ms. So-and-so that you said she said she thought I was a girl."

"Yes, I know you did." I was about to try to defend myself and remind him that I did not say that and I denied it when he asked, but there was no point. Plus, I didn't want to blow it out of proportion.

"Oh, and that Evanescent CD I'm going to burn you won't be ready until Monday, Miss Small Town .... " And he talked at me very quickly for the next three minutes. He didn't seem upset or anything so all was cool with him.

As for Ms. So-and-so. I had to tell her what really happened and apologize my ass off. I saw her in the hall after school and asked to talk to her. I asked how her day went and generally her day was shit. It wasn't just the Stan thing. That was just the icing on the cake.

I told her as I was saying the incriminating part, I knew I had just implicated her and I felt awful. I told her I was really sorry and I had wish I had handled it better and came to her first, and I explained that I did not tell Stan that I said she thought he was a girl. He came to that conclusion himself and I tried to deny it.

She seemed ok with my apology but we couldn't really discuss it because another student came by her room for help. I told her to stop by my place last night and we could discuss it more. She never did.

Here is the lesson. Never, EVER, tell a student about ANY conversation you had with another teacher. Be on high alert with what come out of your mouth when you are on DayQuil. And ALWAYS come clean with the teacher. I have no idea what would happen if I didn't apologize. I still have no idea what the fallout will be from this. I don't know if Ms. So-and-so will tell other not to trust me with "gossip".

We'll see and I'll keep you posted.

What is going on?

I live in the a dream village, I swear. I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. Ok, it's not perfect, but it's damn sweet. The day ended, I'm sitting in my room making a pre-test for my grade 11s and two girls come into my class to say hi. One is in my grade 10 class and she constantly gets frustrated with me because she's having trouble with the work. I try hard with her and I've had tiny break-throughs with her but right when I think I've gotten through, she throws me for another loop. The second girl was in my math class from hell. She gave me a hard time in that class and tried her damnedest to either piss me off or make me swear.

Anyway, these two girls popped by after school and stayed for OVER AN HOUR chatting with me. We chatted about our families and friends, but of course in the safe way teachers are suppose to. They started to approached the grey area about drugs but I managed to steer them away with a funny cigarette story I had.

They were looking at some of my personal photos I have in the class ... a board I put up of over a dozen photos from the last couple of years. They saw one of me taken in August when I just got my hair cut and commented that they liked my hair like that. Of course they did, it had just been done by a professional. One girl said I was pretty but I dress kinda "m'eh". The picture they liked of me I was wearing a brown tanktop. They said I should wear stuff like that more often. I told them I wore that exact top yesterday ... with a blazer. They then changed their tune, "At least you don't dress like Ms. So-and-so. She looks like a hoochie." That cracked me up and I told them. Well, I can dress "m'eh" or I can look like a hoochie if I wear what they initially said I should wear. They changed the topic because I pointed out their flaw in logic.

Anyway, with all said and done, it was really nice to have the girls chat with me. And even though they have given me a hard time in the classroom, they're nice kids. And all the kids are like that in the community. The kids always say hi to me in the community ... if I initiate or not .... and they even stop me once in a while to chat. I really like it here ... it definitely makes the transition easier for me.



In other news, tomorrow is day 39 for me here. That's the length of stay the winner of Survivor stays in the game. I truly feel like a winner with my choice of coming here. I miss home soooo much (this move was nothing like the move from home to the big city where I rarely missed home. i still cry sometimes from missing everyone) an sometimes I wish I could just go back for even an hour, but I like it here to. Now all I need, is someone to cuddle.

P.S. Ms. So-an-so does not dress like a hoochie. She dresses a bit more casual and because she is super thin, she can get away with tighter clothes. But I would not consider anything she wears inappropriate.

Sexy Voice

It's the time in my cold where I've developed the "sexy voice". You know, that squeaky, deep voice. I sound especially cute when I laugh ... right before I go into a coughing fit.
Anyway, I'm rounding the corner on my first month of teaching. It's mostly had it ups, but there have been some downs too. I'm finding it very hard to work this week. My grade 11s are working on projects independently and one of my independent study grade 11 girls has been sick, so today me and the other girl just played cards. But no worry, I was able justify it because one of the mandates on the curriculum is being able to solve problems. My student showed me she can solve enough problems to kick my ass at Crazy 8s.

Speaking of mandated curriculum, the government has just changed the entire math curriculum. Starting this year, certain aspects of the grade 11 curriculum have been weeded out. Next year there will be changes to the grade 10 and 12 curriculums (is that the plural of curriculum).

Ok, something funny and entertaining. I'm trying to teach math 10 today and one kid has the new Weird Al song in his head. He asks me if I like to do calculus for fun. I replied yes, and added that I am also fluent in Java script. Another girl looks at me stunned and asked how I knew the words to "White and Nerdy?" I replied by telling her that the song was practically written for me, and that I could relate to the song ... well except the part about having a pocket protector and fanny pack. The kids are stunned I listen to the same music as them.

I almost felt like telling them about me and Weird Al and how I remember some of his earlier stuff like, "Eat it", and "Like a Surgeon." Ok, these were a little before my "cool" music phase. But I certainly remember classics like "Omish Paradise" and "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi". After all that is said, never, never ask about "Porn Star" my attempt to emulate Weird Al.

NyQuil and DayQuil

I'm at school right now on my prep block ... as high as a kite. As most of you know, I don't do drugs that often. I rarely even take Tylenol. But, I am sick. And the only way I can sleep when I'm sick is to take NyQuil.




This shit is great. It doesn't matter how sick I am, I take this stuff and it knocks me out cold. I prefer the gel caps because the liquid stuff tastes horrible. I only take one gel caps, unless I'm super sick. Anyway, I always have the most fucked up dreams and if I wake up in the night, I'm so stoned that I'm hallucinating anyway. I find it hard to wake up in the mornings because I'm still pretty out of it.

So I take it's counterpart, DayQuil to get me through the day.



I use to think I could function on this stuff because I only started this cold cycle of uppers and downers in university and would function fine. It turns out in university, I would just sit in the back of the class in my high state and robotically take notes. Teaching on my high is a whole other ball game.

During my practicum, I found out I can't teach worth shit on this stuff. I make huge, giant mistakes, plus if I whip my head around fast, the world just floats by. I am on the Quil today because I was feeling like crap and the NyQuil was still in effect. I've taught already and it went pretty smooth.

Anyone have any NyQuil stories of their own? Share them!

Skinny Jeans

I am a fashion watcher, as most of you know. I've always been that way. I remember my grade 9 English teacher would make us journal everyday. And most days I didn't feel like it so I started writing "Fashion Today" and would critique my classmates clothing for the day.

Not that I am a huge fashion plate here. I've kept with the same look of jeans and a t-shirt for over ten years, keeping with modern jean and t-shirt styles. I have started experimenting with other stuff now that I am a professional adult. If it weren't so casual here, I'd start investing in suits because I find them sexy.

The one item I'm keeping my eye is skinny jeans.



I don't know how I feel about them. I did consult my personal fashion guru, Brilliant, and he loves them. He has the body to pull off popular fashion because he is thin and tall and just generally gorgeous. I don't because I am short so I need to be careful.

We both agreed they look good on certain people, mainly young, thin, tall people. But since these jeans are the shit, everyone wants to wear them. I don't know about you, but I was sure sick of seeing people's love handles hang over their low rise jeans. I sure as heck don't want to look at people's sausage thighs and asses in skinny jeans. This may sound harsh, but it's true. I'm all for my big sisters and brothers (as in society brothers and sisters, both my sisters and my brother are hot, thin people) looking hot in fashion, but come on, some fashion is not meant for everyone. I've had some heavier friends that look better in things I could never pull off, namely things that require a big rack. Hmm, that's one thing I envy about my blood sister: she is skinny AND has big boobs. Anyway...

They even make skinny jeans for pregnant women!



I was looking for a photo for this entry with someone in skinny jeans who shouldn't be in them but I couldn't. I use google image to find all my pictures and I've only had two time where I couldn't get results. They were for searches on "skinny jeans fat ass" and "skinny jeans big butt". I thought that was funny.

P.S. If you got my unedited version of my previous entry, I got an update on the girl who was being bitchy to me. Supposedly, she's gained a bunch of weight because all she does is smoke weed and eat pie.

This blog is for me

I’m torn about this blogging thing. Part of my motivation for it was so that I could keep all my friends and family updated on my life without having to write 5o million emails that say the same thing.

I also wanted to jot down some of my thoughts down, like a diary, but also wanting to share it with others. And because others are reading it, especially people I know, I feel I censor myself. For instance, there are several thoughts I had today that I wanted to jot down but haven’t because there are certain people I don’t want to read them. And each thought was censored for a different person. As I type this up, I feel a bit angry with this realization. My core being thinks censoring is usually stupid. I don’t want to feel this anger.

Another thing about expressing yourself in this type of forum is that you can choose what to say and you usually only write things that make you look good. It's like dating someone (or so I've heard because I am truly myself right off the bat). The first three months is making the person think you are the type of person they want you to be, the next three month is them getting to know the real you, and the last three months is them getting to hate the real you. Well, I don't play that way so I'm not going to play that way on my blog. You get all of me: the good, the bad, and the insane.

Edit
Keya has given me some good advice in the past. She said not to think about these things so much. I should take her advice.

Friends

The dance last night was pretty typical, there was some drama with people who didn't want to follow dance protical (about admission) but other than that, the kids were great. By the end of the night the kids were just jumping and dancing, none of that fake club dancing. Highlights for me were when the kids danced "slow dances", they all dance: girls with girls, guys with guys, and in groups of two or three. It was a nice way to include everyone and it was sooo not sexual in anyway. At one point the students grabbed us chaperones and we danced liked fools to Kelly Clarkson's Since You've Been Gone. I danced so hard, I dance my keys right out of my hoodie.

Anyway, here is the real message I wanted to write. Today was pro-D and we talked about assest development in kids. I was inspired to help the kids with this and I'm excited about Monday when I get to see my students again.

Yet, as we were reading about the 40 assests, I started thinking of a friend of mine that I care for deeply. And I was thinking about how they probably had a small amount of these assests in their childhood. It made me realize my philosophy on friends.

I try to only surround myself with people that I can trust, that promote me to be the best I can be, that will call me on my bullshit but also appreciate my kindness, that like me for me and not what I can give them, and people that make me feel good about myself, them and our relationship. I also encourage this for other people. I've had many people ask me how I am so positive and motivated and happy. I honestly think that most of my being comes from surrounding myself with good people and by purging my life of poisonous people. But, at the same time, you have to recognize that good people have hard times, and that they need patience.

So, to all my friends, know that I have you in my life for a reason. And I hope I am in your life because I give you all the things you give me. If you ever need a friend, know that I am here and I support you and you can call on me and I will do everything I can to support you.

Passing Tests and Chaperoning the Dance

So I had the math retests for those students who wanted to re-write. Everyone of them passed the re-test! Yeah! Even better, some of the students went from a D to an A! I was very proud of them. I've learned something here: other people's resources aren't as good as mine for the kids. For my grade 10 class, especially, the textbook and a reference book I have on the textbook don't fully meet the needs of my students. Of course, the textbook follows the curriculum practically to the T, but my students need more review of the basics than that. The textbook assumes the students remember everything they learned. In all reality, the students really don't remember anything from last year. So I make my own worksheets. True, that means more work for me, but it's a win for the students because they can actually do the work and feel confident about it.

In other news, tonight is the first school dance.



I was asked to be a chaperone. The last high school dance I chaperoned was an eye opener. It wasn't that long ago when I was in high school but things have changed in the dancing arena. But it's funny too. At the last dance, the kids dance like adults do in clubs, but the big difference is that the kids don't touch each other. Except for slow dances, but those aren't as popular as they were when I was in high school. I'd love to do an impression of the boys asking girls to dance because it is hysterical. They kinda gesture and the girl nods, and then the guy bends his knees and has one knee between a girls legs while she stands upright and they move to the music. The no touch thing took me awhile to get used to because I'm use to seeing dancing in clubs and in "adult" land, of course the people touch and it emulates sex. It's quite comical to watch the high school kids because the guys look pretty stupid with their knees bent in such a weird manner while trying to dance.

It will be interesting to see if the school dance here is the same as it is in the city, especially since this is a community event (true, all the kids under 13 have to leave at 9:00).

Mascara and Failing

Top news: I got my package today! I got th sweetest phone ever! It's a 5.8 ghz cordless phone. You can plug it into your CD player to record the ring tone as what ever you want. Mine sings, "I'm looking for attention not another question. Should you stay or should you go." Fitting for a phone, I think. Ok, who can name that song!!! The phone also has a color display, caller ID, an built-in digital answering machine, etc.



I also got some "presents" for my students: mechanical pencils! Along with those items, I got some white-out, mascara, foundation, a razor (quattro for women), and some pens (those are all for me).

Speaking of mascara, yesterday I was helping a student with is math. He looked at me and said, "You only put mascara on your top lash." I looked at him funny and confirmed his findings. He told me he puts it on his top and bottom since he can get away with it. That made me laugh. He wears more eye make-up then I do! He's a great kid! He gave me one of his school photos too.

I had tests with two of the classes yesterday. Only 7 out of 11 kids passed the tests, and 3 of those kids just barely did with 50%. I was disappointed. I hope it's a wake-up call that students actually have to do their homework. I am a nice teacher though and I am offering a re-test tomorrow after school for those who want it. I also went over the test in detail and gave an extra review sheet to prepare them.

Relish and Mentos

I was making myself a sandwich for lunch today. It was a salami sandwich with cheese, mustard and yum yum pickles.



I didn't buy the pickles – Dad did when he was here and I thought I would eat them. "They" say that scent is the sense that is tied to memory the most. As I smelt those pickles, it reminded me of a little delicacy I would eat when I was a little kid. Mom would put some sweet relish in a little bowl for me and I'd eat with with my initial-engraved, Gerber baby spoon. The things that kids like, is beyond me. My brother used to LOVE toast with mustard on it.

In other news, I was chatting with my students today trying to fill the time and one of them mentioned that if you put Mentos in a big bottle of Coca-Cola, the mentos will explode and pop out of the top of the bottle!! I must try this! Does anyone want to send me some Mentos? Mint and fruit would be preferable.

Trophy Wife

I've had a goal for the last 10 years. It was to become a high school math teacher. Well, I've finally completed it. I am what I set out to be. And it feel fantastic. I need a new goal now. I have two, that are related.

The first one is to pay off my student loan. I have a big one. I could easily afford a 2006 Audi A6, with money left over to go on a 10 day Caribean cruise with the money I owe in student loans. Ouch! I figured out that in three years, if I stay here, I would have paid off the lion's share of my loans. In fact, since I have four loans, at that time I would only have one left... hopefully. What a freeing experience that will be. I look forward to completing this goal. As I see it, this make me a commodity.

Now I know what you are thinking, why on earth would I call myself that? I am a smart, intelligent person who should never consider herself in such terms. But let's be honest, I do. I think this will add to my value as a life partner. Here's me tooting my own horn, but I will make some man very lucky when we get married. I am intelligent, cute, kind, and funny. Isn't that what every guy truly wants? But I will be financially stable too. I will be able to contribute significantly to the household income, while at the same time, not be a liability with my giant loan.

I mention this because even though I have great career, all I really want to be in a homemaker. That sounds nuts to some, but it's true. I know this is not a realistic goal in this day and age when double incomes are almost essential, so I do have my career as a back-up. But all I really want is to be a trophy wife. Ok, shocking, but let me explain.



First off, I am only going to marry some guy that loves me for me and I love him for him, not his money or prestige. But, I would love to marry a successful, rich man where I would be his loving, doting companion. Come on, who hasn't wanted to be a wife a husband can be proud of, a woman that all other women envy for her intelligence, cuteness, kindness, and wittiness? I want to be this. I know the image of the trophy wife is a blond bombshell with no brains with big hair in an 80s gown hanging off the arm of her multi-millionaire husband.



I'm going to re-define the trophy wife. She will be intelligent. She will be cute. She will be able to make it on her own if her husband leaves her (but he won't because she is his everything). She will be like a priceless commodity for her husband, because no money could buy her. Only his love could win over her over. At his office party, she will wow his boss with her ability to have a real, intellectual conversation. She will wow the boss' wife with her kidness and sense of humor. When she's doing her charity work, she will actually know the issues, not just hand the money over to something that looks good. She won't be the catty banter between other trophy wives because they will not be able to say anything mean about her except things that they envy. But when they complain about her, it just makes them look bad. Ok, that last sentence doesn't make sense because if trophy wives are re-defined, they wouldn't be catty about other trophy wives. The "old" trophy wife stereotype needs a new term because of my redefinition. Those wives will now be only refered to as gold diggers.

Ok, with all this said, I'll probably never be a trophy wife. I'll be a normal wife with a normal husband where both of us contribue to the household. And I'll be happy because I actually like being a high school math teacher. But a girl can dream, can't she?

Ode to Matt

If I've had a good night's sleep, then I wake up fully cognizant of the world. I woke up that way this morning thinking about Matt. He's a friend of mine I met in the big city. He lived a floor below me in dorms.

Ok, maybe I wasn't totally cognizant because when I woke up I was thinking of a conversation we had. Matt and I had an almost instant friendship. I remember the first time I met him (he doesn't really remember me at this moment). He was serenading the door of one of my floormates and soon to be really awesome friend, Keya. I was curious who was playing the guitar, so I investigated and found him sitting on the floor. I asked him what he was doing and he told me. I was satiated with the response so I went back to my room to work. A few minutes later, he asked me if I had some scissors so he could cut a picture. I lent them to him and then I didn't see him for about a week.

He remembers me from our next encounter. I was in my floor kitchen with a bunch of my floormates and we couldn't open a jar of caramel. I told them to hang on and I started wandering the halls looking for a guy to open the jar. Hey, it's a good tactic to talk to good-looking guys and make them feel strong, etc. when they can open the jar. The first guy who tried couldn't open it. The second guy couldn't open it.



I was walking past Matt's room (then known in my haed as the guitar playing guy) and I saw him in there and told him my dilemma and my non-results. Matt was determined to open that jar. And he did! I know I made his day when he opened that jar. As I was walking away, he asked me my name and I told him. The next day, I was walking from one class to another and I recognized him and said hi. He said hi back and asked me who I was. I said he opened my jar yesterday, and he instantly remembered my name and beamed at me.

The moment we became real, true friends came next. I'll set the scene without all the pre-amble. I was in the hall trying to convince Brilliant to let me wash his feet (this was when we were just friends) and Matt was there insanely drunk. He pulled me aside and slured at me that I was NOT going to wash Brilliant's feet and instead I was going to hang out with him and his friends. And that is what I did. And the rest is history.

The song that reminds me of Matt. I heard it in his room several times and it took me forever to get him to email it to me.

All the other moments have come flooding back: sitting on the bench in the park watching the miniscule fireworks; watching "The Office" in his room; watching "Trailer Park Boys" in his room; laughing our asses off at some crazy thing one of us said; him cooking me dinner of steak that tasted better with ketchup and then me cooking him an awesome dinner of mango chicken, soft yams, and cinnamon buns; our lame good-bye with lots of hugs; helping him with his math; showing him how to post a website; writing a story together over MSN about a horse that turned into a man and the adventure he had; and of course our hours and hours talking about everything from our families to our world views.



Anyway, this morning I was thinking about some of the great conversations Matt and I had. And they truly were. We talked about anything and everything with such honesty. I think Matt is the only person in this world I haven't lied to ... ok, not exactly true, if I lied, I always confessed afterward, and I did withhold information from him too ... like the time Chris drew on his forehead "England rules" when they were going to the soccer game in the portugal district and I saw then at the bus stop and said nothing. But Matt is very good people. And I miss him. We've talked on the phone a couple of times since I've been here, but it hasn't been like our face-to-face conversations. I look forward to seeing him and spending a day with him when I go back to the city at Christmas.

When I started this entry I had a tear or two in my eye wondering if I'll ever have conversations like I had with Matt again. But now I'm smiling because I know I have (had) a great friendship that keeps me warm with memories.

Thank God It's Friday!

Another week is almost over! It was a pretty good week, though. I hate to say this but I can't believe how much better my days are without that grade 9 class. I found the hard part is not knowing the kid's names and then not knowing who's attention I was trying to get. I knew like 4 or 5 kids name's really well and they were pretty good kids so when they would be talking with one of the "naughty" ones, I would call on the good kid's name. Terrible, I know, especially when I don't want the kids to associate my name use with negativity. I will have these kids again after the new year to teach them health education, but I know I will know them better.

It was school picture day for two days this week. This is a big deal to the community, let alone the kids. The kids were crazy! They were constantly talking about their hair and distracted everytime a class walked by the classroom on their way to the library. The kids were also using photos as a way of leaving class for long periods of time. My literacy class today was halved because the kids were "getting their photos done". Of the half gone, I bet most of them were just loitering in the hall. So we didn't do a lesson, we just did a wordsearch I made on puzzlemaker.com and I showed them a couple magic tricks.

For my independent study class, it was such a nice day, we all went out to work on the field. That was nice! And the best part is that the weather has been absolutely beautiful here. It's been sunny but not hot... unlike in the big city, where it's pissing rain. Ha ha ha!

It's great that it's Friday but my weekend will be a work one. I have two year plans to do (complete with government prescribed curriculum outcomes), two quizzes to invent, 3 books to read for health education, and hands-on activities to make up for the class to make them more fun.


My classroom is the third complete set of windows from the left. It's the one with the blinds down in it.

It's a Universal Fact ....

That if you give a male, high school student some connecting blocks, the first thing he will make is a gun. It doesn't matter where in this country you are, I guarantee this is what will happen. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself and see. It's almost a law of physics. Just sit back and watch!

In other news, I got my first hug from a student. I was doing outside duty (at lunch) and one of my students came up to me to chat. This is a common occurance here, by the way. If you're out and about in the community, students (even the teenaged ones) will see you and stop and chat with you. It's really cool. Anyway, he asked what we'll be doing in class and I told him we'll being doing a short lesson and then we'll have some fun with a Sudoku. He had no idea what that was (I later found out) but he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, squeezed and said, "You are such a nice teacher." This is what it's all about folks. It doesn't matter if you teach kindergarten or grade 12, a little hug from a student is always a nice surprise.

The "in" candy at the school right now is Juicy Fruit gum. I don't relly notice the gum until I leave my classroom and re-enter it and it reaks of the stuff. And I only know the student's chew it because I can smell it, not because I ever see it. I don't think I will ever be able to smell this gum and not think about my classroom and this school.

It All About The Rewards

So I took classroom management this summer. And all the stuff I learned about not giving the students rewards and bribing them to be good. Well, it's all shit! All I can say, is DO IT! Do it until they want you to up the ante and you do. Do it until they have no motivation to do something unless they get a reward for it. You know why? Because that shit doesn't happen .. at least not to high school students. As mart as high school student are, they won't up the ante unless you do. They'll keep doing what you say for them to do if you reward them sporatically.

The VP who took over my class, offered the students a pizza party if the whole class earns 300 tokens. That means if they show up to class on time 30 times, they earn a pizza party (for those of you who want me to do the math, there are 10 kids in the class). He also offered them a poker day every second Friday if the work well in between those days.

My new "class" is great. It has four students in it: two girls who are hoping to complete Math 11 and 12 Apps by the end of the year by correspondance, one guy working on SS 9 and one guy working on Communication 11. The best part, is I don't HAVE to do a year plan (but I will for the math so I can keep the girls on track).

I'm starting to lose my grade 10s. They pretend they know what's going on in class, but when I give them homework, they can't do it. So I have to back track with them. We'll be reviewing cross-multiplication tomorrow in drill form to get them ready to tackle unit conversions.

I'm a bit frustrated because I'm starting to see a similar pattern with the students. I see that they say the work is "too easy" and "stupid" when they really mean, "I have no clue how to do this when I think I should know, but I don't so I'm not going to try and I'll stay stuck and become frustrated". I'm frustrated more with myself for not seeing this before. I'm going to approach this by being honest with the kids and telling them my observation and by telling them they have to speak up or I can't help them and that, at the same time, I can't stop everything if only one kid has a problem and I'm trying to balance this. I'll also tell them that if they don't know, there's a good chance other don't know too. Ideally, I'd like as much feedback from them as possible. But teenagers never want to communicate. I swear that by the end of this year, I'll get them better. I thought I did, but obviously I've been an adult for too long to get them. I have to learn the teenage mind all over again.

I Wish I Hadn't Met You at All

I'm having one of those day where I'm missing everyone sooo much. It may be that I just want to interact with some of my peers. It'd be nice to go out for lunch with some friends. Chinese would be preferable. Or maybe some casual to fine dinning where I could order a cream cheese stuffed chicken breast with a double-baked potato and some roasted veggies.

In fact, I'm missing everyone so much I almost wish I hadn't met you guys at all ... because I wouldn't know what I'm missing and I wouldn't hurt so much. So this is to all of you, my friends. Pam, Emily, Lisa, Sachiko, Robin, Matt, Keya, and Brilliant. The worst part is that it is so fucking beautiful here that I want to share it with all of you. Here's a picture so you can imagine being here.



I guess if I hadn't met you guys, my life would not be as good as it is. But sometimes ignorance is bliss.

This week in school ...

The week is over. It's Saturday and I survived my first week. This weekend will be an intense weekend of preparing ahead so I don't have nights like I did this week. I was up until about 11:00 every night and then at the school 45 minutes before class started.

So I have (soon to be had) this class of grade 9s. They are good kids, individually, and I like them. But as a group, they are really hard to teach ... and generally keep in the classroom. Obviously, my brand of classroom management doesn't work with them. Yesterday's class was the best because I actually raised my voice and they liked that. It still cracks me up that some students don't want a nice teacher, they want a stern teacher. This is the class where one of my students raised their hand and asked me what the word "prick" means. I responded with, "You know when you are sewing with a needle and and you poke yourself in the finger ..." Then one kid said he wanted the noun definition not the verb definition. I just rolled my eyes, and said that they can ask their parents. Anyway, the VP has given me an out. He's teaching a directed studies class of a few kids taking Communications, Social Studies and Math. He's having a hard time with the math, so he offered to switch me classes. Of course I said yes. But I did explain that I felt bad because I feel like I'm running away from my problems. He said that he's seen the composition of the class and the reason two of the students are in my class because they would disrupt the learing of all the other students in the other math class. And then two students failed math 9 last year and are retaking it, and that over half the others in the class are taking alternative ed for their other core classes. He said that any teacher would have a hard time with the class and that he wants my first year at the school to be a good experience. I'm glad to not have the class, on one hand, but I do feel like it would be a good learning experience for me. If I could handle that class, I could handle any class. But I am relieved too.

This week as I was introducing myself, I decided to tell the students three things about myself. I told them I have a twin brother, I love to mountain bike and I've never been fishing before. They all just looked at me stunned. I was thinking I grew another head or something. Then one girl said, "You are such a wierd-o. You've never been fishing!" And all the other kids agreed. That made me laugh. Apparently, I have to go fishing .. and sometime soon.

After I introduced myself with my last class, I asked if anyone had any questions. One kid, Kenneth, asked me if it was true that I went to school with a famous singer. I said, yes, it was true. As the kids were introducing themselves, one kid has the same name as a famous children's author, who happened to be a regular customer in the store I worked at in my hometown. I told the students that I knew the author. Kenneth than asked me how many famous people do I know. I laughed and told him that about it.



A lot of the kids have white-out. And I have no idea where they got it from ... because I want some. The school doesn't have it ... the store doesn't have it. I guess I have to order some online. Along with mechanical pencils!!!! And white erasers. These are necessities of a math diet. I am anal about school supplies, yes, I know.



I think I have a goast. I was sitting in my living room and my refridgerator door slammed shut. It freak the shit out of me. I hadn't been in the kitchen for like, a half hour, and I'm pretty sure I closed the fridge last time I was in there. I don't like that I have a may have a ghost. I guess I won't be entirely convinced until I get another piece of evidence.

We had a fire drill this week. It's wierd that when we evacuate the school, I can see my house from where we were standing.

After the hard week at school, the teachers went to the next community over to have dinner and some drinks. We took one of the teachers power boats there. It's nice to know that I can always kiyak to this community in about an hour. This community has a consignment clothing store, a hardware store and a general store with things we don't have in our store. I was quite impressed. It was nice to intract with adults for a while. Of course, we ended up talking about the students most of the night. But that's what teachers do.

Ok, I know I mentioned I would talk about sex and music, but I just said that to keep you on the edge of your seat. This entry wasn't too amusing, but it's what happened. I'll try to write something crazy later this weekend.

I'll Blog Soon... Saturday by the latest

I'm under water here with planning for my first week. I've had to change my whole grade 9 class becaue they want to be like the "big" grade 9s in the "normal" class. I make fun, but I can see their need for dignity.
Ok, So this is a quick blog to keep you on the edge of your seat for my next real blog. Look forward to reading about my grade 9 class, the "prick" insident, fishing, white-out, my ghost, famous authors, fire drills, sex, alcohol, music, the hardware store and chicken.

First Day of teaching

I AM SOO TIRED! I forgot how tiring teaching is, and I only taught half a day. I'm so tired, in fact, I'm not going to take the time to find photos to go with my blog. Sorry, for all those visual learners.

I'm partially so tired becaue I watched this comedy special last night by Dane Cook called Vicious Circle. Here is a link to a part of it from youtube.com. I highly suggest seeing the whole thing. I laughed my ass off.

Anyway, today was great. I got to finally meet the kids. And they were fantastic! The only class I can see the I'll have to turn on the strickness is my essentials math 9 class... but there's only 9 kids, so I think I can handle it. I'm planning for my classes tomorrow as we speak ... well, I'm taking a distraction break when i should be planning.

Those of you who know me, I got to finally introduce math journaling to my classes. And I think it will work. I read the entries so far and the kids are warming up to the idea, for sure. I'll have them using metacognition in math class before you can say ... well, metacognition.

Only one kid really bitched about the no MP3/cell phone/ipod rule. She mentioned that the admin. didn't mention anything about PSPs. I'm sooo going to bring it up with them!

I'd write more but I have to get back to planning for tomorrow and then I'm off to bed. I forgot what it's like to wake up at 6:30 and have to work all day.

P.S. Don't you think there should be a movie with John Lithgow and Anthony Hopkins playing brothers? They'd be a fun duo to watch in a movie.

P.P.S Wasn't House good? I actually welled up at the end. And next week looks so good when Cameron gives it to Cuddy for lying to House.

T Minus One Day ...

So one more day until a very important event happens in my life … the season premier of House is on.



And since I get Fox Rochester, I get to see the brand new episode 3 hours earlier than everyone else I know, sweet!

But, seriously. Tomorrow is the first day of my career. I’m scared shitless, to be honest. But I’m prepared. I’m also excited to. It will be great to meet all the students, finally. I’m sure my blog will be really exciting tomorrow.

So I was taking the garbage out today, which I do often because of all the stinky fish carcasses that show up there from all the fish I’m eating. And then I remembered, there is no garbage pick up in this place. We actually have to take our own garbage to the dump. The things one takes advantage of in the city!

I counted the number of steps it takes me to get to school. From my front door to the front door of the school is 158 steps. That’s crazy, I think I could run to school in less than 30 seconds, no kidding.

I made my hall pass today. Every teacher needs a hall pass and the VP suggested that the more embarrassing for the student to carry it the better. So I had this key chain neck holder thingy (like the one illustrated), that says “Star” all over it.



I then made a cardboard star and put my name on it. It’s not modifyingly hideous, but it is quite ugly. Some teachers have gargantuous hall passes (like a spatula, or a giant Bugs Bunny doll), but mine isn’t that bad. Mine makes my students stars (roll eyes here).

In other news, Steve Irwin died!!!!! I can’t believe it! Everyone favorite Australian to make fun of was stung by a sea ray and died pretty much instantly. Crikey! Let us all take a moment and remember the guy who was the biggest advocate for crocodile rights.

Ok, that’s over. Seriously though, I feel real bad for his family. I can’t imagine being his 8 year-old daughter right now. I would be devastated if my dad died when I was eight. Especially on the day before the first day of school. But I guess it may not be the day before the first day of school in Australia. But still, he died … and that sucks. Here’s to you, Steve. May you have lots of Crocodiles in heaven.

Shower Bloppers and Cooking Mishaps

I woke up last this morning. No big deal, it's Sunday (perhaps a Lazy Sunday to be exact).

I did my email/web surf thing and the I took a shower. And then wouldn't you know it, my doorbell rang. i don't know what it is about this place but I've had my doorbell ring FOUR TIMES while i'm in the shower since I've been here. I'm not kidding. I've been here for 14 days now (Actually almost to the exact minute). So what is that, that a 29% chance that my doorbell will ring when I'm showering. That's nuts! Think about that next time you shower!

After my shower, I went to the store to pick up a few things. I found out the real profit maker at the store. It's fucking toilet paper!



The prices are pretty crazy. I spent almost 9 bucks for eight rolls of toilet paper. And I'm not talking double rolls either, I'm talking regular rolls! I can't believe I paid over $1 for a roll of toilet paper. I certainly can't spare a square!

I bought some Pizza Pops at the store for a quick meal. I keep forgetting that I don't have a microwave. So 20 minutes later ... Pizza Pops are actually more tasty when they've been cooked in the microwave. I should know, I lived off them for a month once.



The store does not sell chicken. Well, I should say, it doesn't sell un-precooked chicken. I was curious about that ... especially since I love to make a salad with chicken on it. Then I figured it out (with the help of Jessica Simpson, of all people). Salmon is the chicken of the world to the people here. So to do as the locals, I decided to put cold salmon on my salad. And it was actually pretty good! Of course, I did put a lot of basalmic salad dressing on it (I found that the store does sell that). I'm happy now because now I have my salads back! That's what I ate almost daily during my last semester of school.

Kayaking and Coffeemate

I went kayaking today. That was lots of fun. I’ve never really gone in a “real” kayak. The school owns 6 of them. We jus went around the island here. We didn’t see too much wild life beyond the giant ravens that live around here.

I don’t know what it is, but this community sure loves Coffeemate.



I got some in my welcome basket, along with all the other new teachers. And I see everyone around town buying it at the Band Store. And it appears at all staff meetings/function. I’m think Coffeemate is so popular because milk is a bit expensive?
I don’t care much for Coffeemate. I’ve tried using mine in tea and hot chocolate, but it just adds whitening color and not a very nice taste. Maybe I’ll acquire a taste for it along with seafood.

I’ve gotten over some of my home sickness and missing people. Some of it can be blamed on the lovely PMS bout I am experiencing (ooooh, too much information, you say? Too bad, it’s my blog.).

I’ve been thinking about Tuesday a bit today. I think it will be one of the scariest days of my life. It will also be one of the most exhilarating. I can’t believe I’m actually going to be a real, paid teacher! It’s just too strange.

I made fish, again, for dinner. I’m starting to get a hang of it. I’m still waiting for more recipes from my readers out there1

Ode to Brilliant

The song running through my head

It’s 3 a.m. I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about home and about being alone.

I keep thinking about Brilliant.

I have this song (the one that the link leads to) perpetually running through my head. It’s called 2 a.m. It’s about someone lying in bed thinking about their lover. A friend of mine was kind enough to let me post the song on their website. Thanks, Leanne!

I keep thinking about all the good times Brilliant and I had. Our relationship was so different than any I’ve even had because it didn’t end in a difficult break-up … it just ended (or did it?) because I left for this job. We never have a fight. We had a “heated” discussion once, but we dropped it. The only time I can think where I acted badly was the day before I left. I think I was trying to distance myself emotionally so I would be able to leave the next day without incident. All I really know about that day was that I feel like I was being a brat.

I kept telling myself that while we were seeing each other, that if we were really dating, I would have ended it before I left. But would I have? Would we still be together if I hadn’t left? Am I thinking about all this because I genuinely miss him or because I’m just lonely?

I keep thinking of all the good times. Sitting on the bar patio sipping a drink and just enjoying the sunny afternoon. Sitting and eating a wrap and then going for coffee. Catching his eye and then him grinning and giggling (well, not giggling, but the way guys kinda chuckle). Watching TV and having him fall asleep on my lap. Making out in my room (because his room was beyond a disaster). Waking up from a bad dream and having someone peacefully sleeping beside me. Holding hands in bed and discussing our lives and futures. Cooking breakfast in the dorm kitchen and chatting with the girls on my floor. The morning that we became friends instead of just “friends”. And of course all the sex. Ugg, Is this night ever going to end? My mind is going.

Ok, I’m gonna think of all the bad times. Getting elbowed in the head a couple of times while I was sleeping. Him telling about how he half tried to kill me in my sleep by squeezing me to death and then him fully waking up when I had a terrified look on my face (I don’t remember any of that). Him being drunk out of his mind one night and storming into my room looking for his wallet … and then him going off for some debauchery and getting his buddy arrested for drunk driving. Ok, these aren’t too bad.

Ok, I think I’m tired now, so I’ll go count some sheep … or bunnies with soft fur ;)



P.S. I was so tired that I didn’t actually post the blog until the next morning.